One of my favourite writers on Substack right now is Margi Prideaux, who writes Radically Local. I felt this post titled “No Perfect Village” really captured the importance of community building, but also the difficultly. Especially in these times where the myth of separation, has separated us, not only from ecology, but also each other. Where Uber has replaced giving friends a ride, and Airbnb has replaced the once free couch.
Community-building is usually invoked like it’s a soft, warm, idealistic thing. Shared meals, collective joy. And sometimes, yes, it is. But in truth, it’s mostly uncomfortable, necessary work that asks us to stand in the mess of each other’s lives without flinching. And we’re not good at it. I am not good at it. Decades of individualism have stripped those skills out of us.
…We talk about resilience like it’s infrastructure—rainwater tanks and solar panels—but the real infrastructure is emotional, relational. That’s the skill base we don’t have, and desperately need. I don’t have an answer for this. This is territory I am poorly equipped to navigate. I only know that building community is difficult, necessary work.
I hope that Kinterra can begin to offer a place for the harder conversations, and the deeper connections. The truth is, I don’t know if it’ll work, but so many roads lead me back to the importance of community. Thanks for showing up, and helping us breathe life into this space.
Have you been doing anything to actively build, or step into community in your neck of the woods?
This is such a good reminder that we are “in the mess of other peoples lives” when we build community. I work with a lot of schools, and First Nations organisations and communities designing participatory leadership initiatives. When people realise that everybody struggles , it’s transformative. Trust is built and burdens are shared.
I can only imagine the insights you’ve gained from this work Anna. And this is probably a very difficult question but are there processes/rituals, or components of your work that you think would translate to building community here in this space? Whilst I’ve worked online for far too long, I’m increasingly interested in the similarities between building physical and online communities.
Hi Ally. Yes I think there are - I have done them on line also. although always in the context of hosting a conversation about a theme, or a reason to be in conversation together.
My experience is that people value and are often deeply moved by - the opportunity to be in deep conversation. Happy to discuss if you think it helpful
Community is hard. I have actively been seeking intentional community most of my life; as a child my family was not tied into a community with my mum being a 10 Pound Pom, and most of us here in Australia who are not indigenous Australians probably have a similar sense of unrootedness. Even early immigrants, while often finding community with those of similar backgrounds, have had to compromise so much to succeed under colonialism. We are all traumatised. Trying to build community under these circumstances is so difficult.
I moved intentionally to a small rural town of 300 people half a decade ago after many years of travel and city living, and it is tough to break into - Margi Prideaux expresses this frustration eloquently, and I have found it lonely even with neighbours all around. The vast majority are fully invested in the illusion of the status quo being maintained indefinitely.
I have offers and opportunities to put down roots elsewhere with folks who are on the same page, but weighing the pros and cons of each potential move is consuming. Reading Margi’s experiences of recovering from bushfire is sobering - and the likely prophetic themes in Tim Winton’s Juice haunt me.
Finding the best place to put down roots has obsessed me for so long, as I fear the necessity that will likely come, where migration becomes non-optional, as it was to all our ancestors. How do we build the community bonds that survive that? Would it be easier somewhere with a lower risk matrix even with less community awareness to start…or is it more important to find the Other Others?
Thanks for being here Kudra I am just listening to Nate Hagen’s latest video on Lebanon, where he speaks of families who have trust and bonds going back hundreds of years, and that connection is hard to imagine as a settler.
I can certainly relate to your experience. I have my feet in two places as I try hard to move to another region (where I have some community) but due to sharing care of my kids have not been able to. As things escalate I feel this pressure more heavily, and find it increasingly difficult to be grapple with this disbelief whilst being among the status quo.
People seem to be waking up, so my approach is to face reality, and build inner resilience so I can of support to others when the time comes. I co facilitated a free online course on Resilience & Collapse awareness which might interest you. It was nice spending time together with The Others / on an Island of sanity.
I think community will always be comprised of varied opinions/approaches so I don’t think there is a geographical nirvana, but it’s about forming good relationships which provide you with, and offer, some security. Do you have some of this where you are?
Hey @Ally good to be here on the free internet with likeminded folks. I know a few people in a similar situation as yourself, constrained due to coparenting requirements. And I have talked with others who feel that the relationships are the most important thing. Having the luxury to have choice about place feels like a huge two edged sword though, making it so hard to commit due to anxiety that another option could be better, and at the same time, thinking this is utterly normal human functioning that we have had as long as we have been a species, otherwise we never would have left Africa!
I have some local relationships which are good, but with older folks: the younguns around here are the ute-driving dirtbike riding sort generally, so I don’t have a lot in common with them. There is an emergency preparedness event happening this weekend though, which I am hoping might actually be useful!
I am just listening to Nate Hagen’s latest video on Lebanon, where he speaks of families who have trust and bonds going back hundreds of years, and that connection is hard to imagine as a settler.